Mariana and Her Men

January 31, 2011

NOT Me Monday

Filed under: Ridiculousness — marianfrances @ 1:21 pm

Celebrating the joys of being a stay-at-home mom by recalling just a few of the things my son and I did NOT do this past week…

– Ransom, advancing in mobility, did NOT learn how to climb from his two-step stool into his high chair all by himself.  It is NOT now a favorite past time, and I, of course, do NOT allow him (although monitored) to do such a feat knowing that one day it will end up in some kind of tumble. 

– I, as a highly health conscious mom, have NOT started giving my son juice after he wakes up from his nap as a substitute for breastfeeding.  This act is NOT analogous (at least in my mind) to substituting avocados for candy because, as we all know, juice is high in sugar (or, it will rot your teeth out, as my mom likes to say) and completely lacking in most nutrients except for artificially added vitamin C, which was likely added to make moms like me feel better about giving it to our children.

– I did NOT decide to put my active dog on a diet due to empirical evidence that she might have gained a few pounds.  I then did NOT discover that this diet was a little too stringent after watching this very picky eater scarf up a grape, bean, and not yet cleaned up piece of baby poop off the floor.    In sheer hypocrisy, I had NOT made an (albeit small) batch of cinnamon rolls knowing that my husband doesn’t typically eat sweet things for breakfast, so that RR and I would have to eat them all.

– My son did NOT pick up the hobby of pulling the nightlight of its socket, unscrewing the bulb protector, and holding onto the bulb while saying “Hot! Hot!”  When taken away from him, he does NOT proceed to attempt to jam his little fingers into the light socket in place of the nightlight prongs. 

– My son did NOT learn to remove the vent grating from the side of the wall and now do it with some frequency.  He did NOT proceed to drop a potato – and who knows what else – down the vent and later try to fit his leg into the opening.   At least I’m pretty sure that’s where it went.  The potato is completely missing and was  last seen near the vent when he was trying to push things into it, I simply was unaware that there was a vertical chute at the end of it.   

– My son did NOT manage to remove his own diaper and proceed to toddle around the house happily waving it in the air for all to see.  Naturally, it COULDN’T have been a disposable diaper because I am an eco-friendly, money saving mom who ALWAYS sticks her child in cloth whenever possible. 

How about you?  Anything fun that you did NOT do this last week?



  1. You are too funny. 🙂 Isaac has started trying to climb onto/off of the couch. I’m not sure how much I should let him do. Also I tried to give him juice for the first time (white grape). He wasn’t so much of a fan. I guess I should be thankful.

    Also funny that you had concurrent sentences about baby poop and cinnamon rolls…

    Comment by Ivy Wang — January 31, 2011 @ 1:56 pm

  2. Oh boy, that was hilarious!
    As I was reading, the moment took me away, and I was inspired to add my thoughts to a – late – NOT ME post. Oh, the stories mothers have to tell.

    And Ivy, when levi started climbing up on the couch we decided to allow it, but ONLY if he remained on his bottom. We drew the line at standing, and so far the result has been only a few close-to-the-floor tumbles.

    Comment by Melissa Hnosko — February 1, 2011 @ 12:27 pm

  3. I did NOT listen to Camilla cry for hours this weekend (hoping all the time that she would fall asleep) since I couldn’t think of anything else to do. This does NOT get me so worked up that I can’t take a much-needed nap either. And I am NOT on the computer because I don’t want to deal with the non-napping situation going on right now.

    Sigh. This could get addictive.

    Comment by jupiterbuttons — February 1, 2011 @ 1:19 pm

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